You grew up in the same house, but not in the same family. Birth order, timing, and what each of you was asked to carry made your childhoods different, and you may remember them that way. Sometimes one sentence still returns you to an old role, or caring for an aging parent brings old patterns to the surface. In immigrant families, one of you may have translated for everyone, or you may each have a different relationship to the culture you were raised in. Sibling relationships can be among the longest of our lives. Whatever distance has grown between you, a better understanding of each other is still possible.
It’s okay not to know yet what you want from your sibling, or whether things can change. Reaching out first is already an act of care, and once we begin, there’s room for both of you to be heard.
Your sibling reaching out may mean more than either of you can easily say, and stir up just as much discomfort. There’s space here for both of your versions. Come as you are.